(It is probably "bad form" to air a grievance or complain about a problem while it is happening. I am happy to say that is not the case here. It is simply on my mind.)
It happens. People leave churches.
Earlier in my ministry, I talked another staff member out of resigning in anger. Frankly, his anger was justified and his staying only made matters worse. (Note: A disgruntled staff member does not engender goodwill in a congregation.) Following his eventual and inevitable departure, an older deacon, we will call him “Fernando Verde”, shared that he learned many years before that it is best to let someone go without trying to talk them out of it.
Since that day, I have followed that advice. The following is my policy, thanks to “Fernando”:
If/when someone leaves/resigns/quits or announces they will, I do not try to talk them out of it.
1. If you have been in prayer about it and believe God is leading you to do it, I would be working against God if I tried to talk you out of it.
2. If it is a decision you have come to on your own but without being convicted or convinced that it is God’s will, it would not be good for you to be persuaded by me if you are not persuaded by God.
Exception: I will try to talk you out of it if God clearly directs me to do it. (This has not yet happened.)
Thoughts—
It is not on me or about me. Your choices/decisions are yours. You need to own them. If you are truly following God, Hallelujah! Move on in joy! If you are following your own direction, you need to take the steps necessary to get back on course, i.e. admit it, ask forgiveness, accept forgiveness, do what can and should be done to fix it where possible, and humbly start again. And, yes, if you are following your own direction and do not believe you need to take those steps, it is better for the fellowship of our congregation if you move on.
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